We Live in a Strange World

We live in a strange world, where not only will people—yes, human beings, the self-proclaimed most intelligent race on the planet, and in some cases the universe—will make ridiculous things so pointless that other people will be fascinated by said items for years and years, but where other people will buy these ludicrous products.

I have one such product at my disposal for exposition. Now, you've all heard of the Magic 8 Ball, correct? Well, I have something better! ...In some definition.


Yes. The Answer Me Jesus. As if Magic 8 Balls weren't weird enough, let's shape one like a god and saviour and throw some heresy into our fun! Not only is the thing Peptobismal pink enough to make anyone uncomfortable, but I have to admit that it has an incredible amount of detail in the design.


But of course, since it's a Magic Religion Satire, it has to have a polygonal die with "answers" floating in blue water on the inside. And it does. Such sayings include, "I still love you", "I died for this?", "Repent!", "I would!", "Resist the Devil", "Have faith," and my personal favourite, "Let me ask my dad."

Aside from the utter glee that this brings to the wholly paganistic former-Catholic part of me, it fills me with a feeling that just makes me go "....bwaaah?" Really, there's no other way to describe it. It whizzes past confusion laughing maniacally at its own ridiculosity—and the fact that it's fucking pink—and dances around like something out of a Monty Python sketch.

Found at a rummage sale by my stepmother, purchased as a gift for a friend. Find your own on the internet, another magical land of weirdness.