"How nice- to feel nothing, but still take all the credit for being alive."

Title Source: Slaughterhouse Five

“I like green lightening! I like green lightening, Sam I Am!”

“Do you think green lightening is, like, God having an orgasm?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what it is.”

“I think I have expressed this before. But if there is a mathematical equation for awesome, the domain= quotations and range=you.”

“Don’t go all Spider-Man on me, that movie was not that great.”

“Well its off to the land of sheep and fluffy clouds...oh who am I kidding? My sleep world is a confusing array of strange metaphors strung together by the cruelness of the fates. Anyway I bid u good feeding, O Vampiress Ceri.”

“So God is like being on acid?”
“Definitely.”

“Can I buy a vowel?”
“R.”
“That’s not a vowel.”
“Yes it is! Don’t you lie to me!”

“The definition of Jimi Hendrix is a shiny, decomposing object.”

“Fun: booze of unknown origin.”

“Make me feel less creeped out.”
“How so?”
“This guy in his twenties just stopped me by my house and kept asking for my number.”
“Kill him.”

“Sumner’s the Queen of France. Spread the news.” [And he is.]

“I am a fuck you.”

“I speak little donkey!”

“Emo Mike is a state of mind.”

“We’re sober. That’s funny.”

“Why is my knee itchy?”
“Because you kicked me and I SENT MY PLAGUE UPON YOU!”

“Life makes me pout.”

“You’re such a dork, and don’ talk about my butt, it’s weird.”

“Any hair is the same hair when you’re with Ceri.” [Yeah, I still don’t get it.]

“Annie rapping is always in style.”

“Drugs and sushi!”

“Your burrito had diarrhoea all over your pants.”

“Bowling isn’t fun with you, Magneto!”

“If he’s the one, who’s the two?”