And hold you in her freezing arms until you fall asleep.

Happy December, kids. So Winter Pops is lasting forever, and I'll be shocked if I don't drop dead by next week. Don't be surprised if I sleep through part of the Christmas Dance (but not the part you're playing, guys.) And drama! Crikey, people and their freakin' secrets. This isn't the OC, for Christ's sake.

Title Source: I swear it's from an awesome song, but I don't remember which. Maybe I just wrote it myself. Who knows.


“Bah. Comics are better than life.”

“Yes, thank you. We all know how to NOT DROWN.”

“Mel’s was tense, mine was slightly awkward and kinda weird, and Ian had beef for dinner.”

“Well hey, he got naked, so I’m happy.”

“I think our friends are a case study waiting to happen.”

“We could pop wheelies.”
“True, but we couldn’t dance.”

“My theory is all girls can flirt, sometimes it doesn’t come as easy, but baby when it flows in there's a goddamn flood.”

“Matt, what do I want for Christmas?”
“Porn. Lots of it. And hookers... and illicit substances.”
“And bass lessons.”

“She said she was in an anti-war group, and I looked it up. It advocated violent revolution in favour of socialism. Which is a bullshit cause, unless you’re a true transcendentalist, in which case you wouldn’t advocate violence. However, if you’re an anti-transcendentalist, you wouldn’t support socialism.”
“So she’s a contradiction?”
“Yep. Slap to the face.”

“Shy + guys x issues = single.”

“We obviously haven’t met. I’m Ceri, the Relationship Retard.”

“Someone was obviously on acid when they wrote this movie.”
“Oh, the part where Dumbo gets drunk?”
“Yeah, and the… you know… FLYING ELEPHANT PART.”

“Just because you want to beat the living fuck out of someone doesn’t mean you hate them.”

“No, I’m just definitely a guy trapped in a girl’s body. A secretly gay guy.”

“Nor is yous a duck but you don't see me saying it.”

“Well, it’s kind of a long story, but I almost got mugged and ended up throwing someone through a window.” Translation: Charlie Johnson is a badass.

“That’s Sophie’s knight in shining armour.”
“You mean knight in shining necktie.”

“Teens are like Africa.”
“They have AIDS?”

“Sprite understands me.”

“Sprite has become an icon in hip hop culture.”

“I’m offended by these people’s idiocy.”

“Your subtlety lack subtlety.”

“I bet Gerard Way tastes like Cherry Coke.”
[laughs hysterically]
“You took that completely the wrong way, didn’t you?”

My Dad: “Happy whoring tonight.”

“Okay. Well, I’m going to go now. Long live Incubus.”