Are you down for giving up?

Hey kids. This has been a slow week for fun, though today I did make fun of people's clothes and watch Sponge Bob with my brother. Good times, and more to come later: movie night. Rock on.

Title Source: “Run Mary Run” by the Sloppy Meateaters. Cool guys from Georgia, and yes, it is a sexual reference.


“All the cute guys are either gay, short, 25, or taken.”
“It doesn’t get any better.”
“Then I’m becoming a lesbian.”

“My nails match my underwear.”

“Lawn clippings: the ecologically reusable garnish less expensive than parsley.”

“The cranes are courting.”
“So they’re fucking?”
“No! You court before you fuck. Unlike you.”

“I will shoot you... like an old horse... and make you into glue.”

“Who wants pity from [her]? If you did, I’d shoot you like a lame horse. Then I’d sell your hooves to the glue factory and sell your body to the dog food factory.”

“It was the Eighties. Everyone looked the same. Just like in the Fifties.”

“Run! Annie’s an alien assault vector!”
[laughs] “Of cheerfulness?”
“Of cheerfulness which is actually Ebola that takes over your mind and makes it alien also with low frequency vibrations and black holes and then augments your body with machinery and makes you bisexual. There, I have summed up every issue of Warren Ellis' global frequency for you.”

“Three isn’t many and six isn’t convincing.”

“Meh-el! Save your planet!”

“Shut up. Don’t make fun of the blind dyslexic kid.”
“Aww, why not?”
“Because it’s not nice. But apparently my telepathy is getting better because you understood what I said.”

“Squirrel! Evil! Kill it!”
“No! Cute! Kill it!”

“When I get my own place, I’ll be able to play music and laugh as loud as I want without people being annoying.”
“That will rock”
“Literally.” … “Another thing about my own place: I can fucking sing in it.”

“So did you vomit?”
“No, but I still feel like I should. Except then people will try to have an intervention for my nonexistence bulimia.”

“Yeah don’t. You’re yay.”
“To you. To me, I’m ugh.”

“Your brothers aren’t tough enough to punch your dates in the face. You’re more likely to punch their dates in the face.”
“Thank you?”

“But I want cheesy beans!”

“This tastes redundant.”

“I would like to be eating some pizza now.”

“Oh my god my sister is reading fanfiction.”
“Oh no. Better kill her.”

“I don’t know how to describe the badness.”
“Death… to the brain.”

“I’m internetting! Very serious business!”

“If I ever get really rich I'm gonna devote a couple grand (or more) to preparation for a major apocalyptic event. Zombies and shit like that.”

“Because let’s face it, I do put the sexy in dyslexic.”

“I could do something more people-oriented for my community service, but I don’t think I’ll go for that.”
“How to do community service without meeting people.”
“I should write a pamphlet.”

“I’ve been inventing Anti-Barney D&D spells like, “Wrath of God- banish all Barneys from the field” and "Work of the Devil" - Summon Barney to the field. All enemies suffer -10 to will saving throws.” And there’s also "Ultimate Frisbee: Target foe is hit by an Ultimate Frisbee and stunned for two turns".

“But sticky makes it fun!”

“It's a song by Berlin, being listened to by Ceri, covered by System of a Down.”
“...being translated to siobhan, being confuzzled by it, being a maker of random ass comments
All is as usual.”

“I would love to have red hair. Not from a bottle. But chocolate sauce… I would like it in a bottle… or all over that Urie dude.”

“Take pity on the slow typers, for theirs in the kingdom of the doodlepads… and etchasketch.”

“Kylie has seen the light.”
“The pretty green one? I like that light. It’s purty.”

“Any ego I fake I brutally murder afterward.”

“I’m giving blood Sunday.”
“Giving blood or drinking blood?”

“And then of course there’s Neil Bush.”
“Who?”

[about Ashlee Simpson on SNL] “Apparently she blamed her bassist, and her bassist blamed his bass."

And a few late-night adds:

"Emo is kosher."

"Sounded like two moose fucking hard .

"HOBOCORE!"