[Yawn] I think this is the earliest in the day I've updated. For every one of my seemingly insane actions, however, there be a reason. I'm going to the zoo in about half an hour for who-know-how-long and then later I'm going to see Clerks 2 with my mom. Yeah, I know my mom is awesome. But anyway... I keep yawning. Too much sleep.
Title Source: “Lover I Don’t Have To Love” by Bright Eyes. One of the first Bright Eyes songs I ever heard. Oh the romanticism of the twelve-year-old mind.
"Free ice cream is always good."
“You need something on this wall. A painting, or a poster. But not Johnny Depp because then you’d burn the food.”
“The things you see when you haven’t got your gun.”
“I thought I’d brush up on my acting.”
“Then you should practice dying. You’re very good at that.”
“I want some bloody tea, dammit.”
“Boil some water, prick your wrist, and make some bloody tea.”
“Done.”
“How is thy bloody tea?”
“Yummy.” [grins widely showing vampire teeth]
“Well that’s good—nourishing too, I bet.”
“I bet Criss Angel can sneeze with his eyes open. Mindfreak that, bitches!”
[laughing] “Is that Justin Timberlake? Why is he a taco?”
“Why are you eating a spoon?”
“…’Cause it’s tasty…”
“You are mega popular.”
“I am teh uber poplarz!”
“Apparently in the acting area, I’m good at dying.”
“Away message: eating, as disordered.”
“You should steal a bunch of solar panels from all those call boxes on the freeway and use them to heat it.”
“Is that how they work? I’ve always wondered.”
“Yeah, if look you can see a small solar panel at the top.”
“I was always too busy watching the power and phonelines dip up and down.”
“Steal enough and you can power your entire house and sell the extra electricity to PG&E.”
“They need to make solar panels cheaper. Then we wouldn’t have to steal them.”
“We’re out of milk.”
[laughs]
“Don’t laugh, I couldn’t have my blood tea. I mean bloody. Ah, who’m I kidding?”
“You should kill a milkman. You will feel better.”
“Iono, you just can’t look at that situation and say ‘He’s acting out.’”
“Well, you can, but you’d be a douchebag.”
“Oh my god! I think I’ve gained weight!”
“Musta been all those wagons you had for breakfast.”
“Salvation from what?”
“…I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll say, ickiness, and leave it at that.”
“If I commit a crime sometime soon, I can plead temporary insanity due to trauma with this as an excuse.”
“Yes! You should just commit a crime while you can.”
“I love it.”
“My dyslexia? You’re the only one.”
“Better than any other movie up there. Got 47 mil already.”
“That's because the masses are desperate, stupid, and like whatever Will Farrell does.”
“Yayayayayay Will Farrell. Except Bewitched.”
“Yeah well that was just a bad idea.”
“Kittens!”
[munch]
“Gasp! That was my snack!”
[offers other half to you]
“Aww. Thanks. I love the intestines.”
“Pirates make you hot, you know it.”
“Privates! I mean… pirates. Jesus, what a Freudian slip.”
“Yeah, those wagons go straight to your hips.”
“Liberace. Did he have a sister Mary? Mariachi?” [It got my whole family laughing.]
guy: your hair is gorgeous. it must smell nice too.
me: thanks
guy: what's your name?
me: angela
guy: do you have a boyfriend?
me: yeah, actually i do
guy: oh. he must be one lucky guy
me: yeah, i'll tell him you said that. [I’m such a liar, aren’t I?”
"Why the fuck is this unicorn so damn emo?"
"That's it? I wanted a story with ninjas!"
"Stupid attractive teenager on my couch."
"Who?"
"Alex."
"Alex curly hair Alex?"
"No, the male variety."
"Damn."
"Is it weird I think it's hot that he's reading comics?"
“Little girls taste like lamb chops.”
“People buy and sell suck crap on tv.”
“Life is a cruel bitch at times, and sometimes a fuzzy bunny.”
“Covered in barbed wire?”
“no, fuzzy bunnies covered in barbed wire are the only type worth having. Unless they are black and attached to Davey Havoc.”
“Hey at least his haircut makes a statement. It failed, but it was trying.”
“I WILL NOT BE RELEGATED TO VAMPIRE SLAYER JUST BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE SHORT BLOND AND QUIRKY!”
“Know what else is not all bad?”
“Ryan Ross?”
“Well that too. The Subways. Quite good.”
“Band or the underground train thingies?”
“Band.”
“Oh, because I like the underground train thingies.”
“Drunkards can throw even awesome vampires for a loop. BAC, you know.”
“Haha! Siobhan got hit on by a pirate!”
“Reading is a gateway to lesbianism and witchcraft.”
“Then burn me at the stake and find me a hot chick.”
“God I hate it when she doesn’t listen to me.”
“Who?”
“Joanna.”
“She smells like tacos.”
“Awww, you remembered!”
“That is inappropriate language for the candy shop!”
“Surfer boys smell like ocean… and Axe.”
“We sort’a have this love-hate relationship… well, more of a hate-toleration relationship.”
“I wish my house smelled like surfer boys.”
“I am soooo ool man.”
“Oh, you are the reason I turn into a lonely little emo kid.”
“Bev would be sad I didn’t have a Brendon Urie to pour my maple syrup on.”
“We all mourn that.”
“Should the presence of a higher power make you feel an tingly? And swirly?”
“I’m not sure how that started.”
“Well, you know, one thing leads to another and eventually you get to pouring syrup on hot guys.”
“So it's been decided that I’m a vampire, Mel's a werewolf, and Siobhan is a witch.”
“What am I? And why are you all what you are?”
“You're coffinbait. I am a vampire because of my aversion to sunlight, pointy canines, and corpse-pale skin.”
“Are you calling me a slut, Ceri?”
“'Fraid so, Kyliepants.”
“What pants?” [wink]
“The pants you're whoring yourself to get into.”
“That’s mean.”
“So am I. So is she. It all works out.”
“You should bang things. And I should video tape it.”
“Things like… what… exactly?”
“All up to you.”
[thinks for a moment before smiling evilly] “I don’t think you should tape that.”
“I have naked people in my head.”
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