Gah. Today was the first day of classes, and I'm TIRED. Some of my teachers are really cool, but some of them are crazy. In the bad way. I'm not looking forward to AP History. I really don't like History, and the AP makes it that much worse. I'll keep you posted on my killin-it-ness.
Title Source: "Attack" by 30 Seconds to Mars. I've become addicted to this album. It's like heroin for my eardrums.
“Do you realise we’re talking about my dishwasher?”
“Yeah I know. What else should we talk about?”
“I don’t know. My dishwasher is pretty much the most interesting thing in the world.”
“A microcosm of civilization itself.”
“Bachelor #3, I don't like bachelor #2 because on our first date, he's going to kiss other men.”
“I quote people. You obviously missed the memo.”
“Chivalry is dead. We should have a funeral for it with knights and dress up in gowns. It will be a proper burial.”
“Because when I think Annie, I think fly.”
“Of course your do. I’m a bird, baby. Ew, but not in the Nelly Furtado way.” [shudder]
“What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for?”
“…What?”
“For drizzle!”
“I think he looks like Spock in the alternate universe episode.”
“The CIA actually used vampire mythology to fight Philippine communist groups in the 70s. They'd capture guerillas, drain their blood, leave them to be found, and then spread rumors about Aswang (Philippine vampires) attacking communists.”
“Mutant grass or crappy concrete: you choose.”
“The world is my male whore house. I mean oyster.”
“You look like Ceri, and Ceri is cool.”
“No prob.”
“Bob.”
“Steve?”
“Joe?”
“Hey, there’s Madison.”
“Guilty shmilty, eat the damn cookie.”
“My mind yesterday was, like… filter-process-sex.”
“So what are you writing?”
“A story.”
“I’m guessing it excludes unicorns and PCP.”
“I wish I had a unicorn. Then I could skewer my enemies on impact.”
“You call thinking big blonde pussies are hot not sad?!?!”
“…Think about that statement.”
“I bet you were badass when you were younger. Be all like… Y7, fuck that.”
“Yes, I’ve established your church. Our policy: be wicked awesome and sacrifice the unworthy. Thus sayeth the Ceri.”
“Actually considering SI, the Starbucks change makes more sense, which is saddening.”
“Starbucks is evil. But I can’t exactly be stubborn just because I am against the uniformization of our youth by corporate America.”
“You can no longer be a Cassandra; now you instead be a satirical, vengeful observer.”
“I doubt any of them will reconsider. That stuff is mind control.”
“Items set in ‘Me’ generally have trait ‘good.’”
“If Ryan Ross were a bass [guitar], this would be it.”
“That’s one sexy fish.”
“If fish could be sexy, Ryan’s would be.”
“I wonder how you’re going to react when you’re having sex, when you laugh in the guy’s face.”
“If he’s a keeper, he’ll already know and laugh about it and or think it’s cute slash endearing.”
“I’m sorry, did I miss a chuck of my life when we dated?”
“There’s not a smiley that expresses my ‘what the fuck are you on’ look.”
“I think there’s something in my water.”
“Does it wriggle?”
“No, but it makes me feel like I can fly.”
“So you’re telling me that inside you’re a tall, hot gay man who’s in love with Brendon Urie?”
“More or less.”
“Nice.”
“So once upon a time, the Yosemite Group comprised of Anne Marie, her cousins, her aunts, her uncles, grandmother, grandfather, brothers, parents, great uncles, random old peoples, and a family taht is friends of the entire group, were in Yosemite. the children and a few parents were on the bus to head back from happy isles back to housekeeping. However, a travesty occurred! The bus was quite overflowing with many a smelly and/or good looking passenger, The little ones were forced to spread themselves out and find whatever seat they may. Katie sat in the front, jeffrey and monica near the middle, annie and kimmy in the middle back, and david, kevin, and jack in the backmost seat. the children decided to cheer up the grumbling parents and started to spread the message of "Increase the peace!!" annie heard her cousins yelling such a joyous phrase and wanted in on the fun. however, soon it was very quiet
the perfect opportunity! she thought. everyone can hear my happy proclamation! and the exuberant little child shouted "INCREASE THE PEACE!!!!" [silence] and from the front of the bus, each passenger heard a muffled phrase uttered by none other than her cousin Katie. it was "annie... no." the end
“I amaze myself. Or at least that’s what a shirt said at Walmart.”
“But of course you knew that, you omniscient, blind, dyslexic kids, you!”
“Banana, I love you.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Dumb assholey people. People who have no taste.”
“That’s a shame, since I’m so delicious.”
“Annie-haters?”
“Ew, who are they? How can they live and be okay with it? Ya know, sometimes I just wonder. Some people just suck. How could God ever let that happen? Our poor world…”
“I’m so witty is why. Wit wit wit.”
“Tuesdays with Annie. Who cares about Morrie? Fuck him.”
“There was an ad taped to my cousins door today. it said something like "I’M GOOD HOUSE CLEANER. I’M ALSO A CITIZEN. CONTACT IF YOU WANT ME TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE”. There was no name or number.”
“You’re strange.”
“What else is new?”
“Your face. My CD.”
“What about your cd?”
“It’s new. Like your face.”
“Goodnight, fair maiden! May the sun never redden your face with burnage and the scissors never cut your hair of beauty!”
“That’s so funny, I think I’m gonna hurt something laughing.”
“You… wrap up in your HIM blanket and dream about Brendon Urie. I’m going to bed.”
“Look! A bird!” [points] “Does anyone have a knife?”
“Ian, you’re missing the bird porn!”
“Ha! It happened! Screw you, logic!”
“Hell. Go to it.”
“It’s like an orgy in here.”
“You’re getting quoted. It’s like getting Punk’d, only better.”
“Swinging long jump should be an Olympic sport.”
“Push me and I’ll eat you.”
“Yeah, hard combo. Eggs and being lazy. That’s why you get married. But that’s a secret so don’t tell.”
“Well, you know eggs and Ceri is the best food combo in the world.”
“Boys are like slinkies: useless but fun to watch fall down stairs.”
“You’re no. Lots of no.”
“Tony Stark is a drunk doucheface.”
“In a few years, you’ll give Criss Angel a run for his money.”
“Borderline Hobo. That should be my club, and the extensions are Borderline Druggie and Sluttie, too.”
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