I say a lot of dumb things. My friends say a lot of dumb things. Most people probably think my inner hair colour is blonde. Part of me wants to go Johnny the Homicidal Maniac on these people. If you've never heard of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, you're probably better off. Speaking of comics, go read Questionable Content. I've read 600+ strips in a day and a half. My eyes hurts.
Title Source: "Oh Goddammit" by Hot Hot Heat. Guess who forgot to find a title.
"Your pit got moshed"
"Mmm... homoerotic. My favourite cereal!"
"'Do you want Cheerio’s?' 'No, I want Cheeri-ho's!'"
"Leave this. Look at my ass."
[shouted at top of lungs] "I like jam! Especially strawberry!" [Yelling random things, whether in the corridors or at concerts, is SO fun.]
"this is like 'Where's Waldo?' only way fucking harder."
"Jade is god. one of many."
"Davey Havoc is like Jesus walking on water, only on people."
"Jesus was badass when he was a kid."
"Anything else, hos?"
“I think I’m wearing more of other people’s sweat than my own.”
“+6 for sheer irony.”
“You rock my socks!”
“You rock my shoelaces!”
“You rock EVERYTHING!”
“Do you know any drummers?”
“Yes.”
“Who aren’t in bands?”
“…Damn, err, no.”
“…I think Warcraft is a conspiracy.”
“Those hippos are always up to something.”
“Rack this one up on the list of songs someone will never write about me.”
“Clearly I have inhaled too much smoke. I hear colours.”
“In a way, I want to shoot whoever wrote this song.”
“Wait. Buttsex is the sum of all real numbers?”
“Yeah, Jack went through a douche.”
“I miss Scott. He was moderately sane.”
“Yeah.” [sad face]
“That’s really sad.”
“One of you can’t type, one of you uses exclamation points, and one of you has singing orgasms. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which.”
“Actually, and I read this, AFI stands for Giant death trolls preying on small French Children.”
“Jack, stop listening to yourself play.”
“Who got Taoism?”
“I don’t know. I don’t care. They probably deserved it.”
“Emo Mike Cereal; warning: may cause depression, high blood pressure, and a strong urge to write bad poetry.”
“And the urge to save girls from mosh pits.”
“Well, you’re a pirate.”
“So? Least I’m a sexy pirate.”
“So I'm almost-cool ‘cos I want to, but I’m not fully cool cuz I prefer to erg within an inch of my life than to hang with cool people.”
“Nothing like your parents talking about money to kill a good mood.”
“Well, too bad math teachers are so attracted to each other, rather than teachers and presidents of huge businesses.”
“Do you think Andre would believe me if I said impotent means you don't smell bad?”
“Maybe. Why?”
“Same old same old. Your dad wanted to skewer his head with a javelin- questions.”
[burp] “Wow.”
“That’s what she said.”
“Hey, can you get up?”
“Your mom got up last night… but then she got back down.”
“I love the subliminal scary faces.”
“Didn’t see those!”
“That’s what you want you to think.”
“Watching you die is always entertaining. I mean that in the nicest way.”
“Satan? Oh, it’s just you, Ceri.”
“Yes, Annie. Omg you dead.”
“Dude.”
“That’s me.”
“Are you on E or something? Like, conversation E?”
“You know what's funny? Imagine a hobag. Now imagine a hoe. Now imagine a bag. Now imagine a hoe with a bag on the end. It looks like a giant penis. Basically.”
“Feh. He ran away. Probably due to my +9 WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!”
“You’re a dork, Ian.”
“I’m not geeky. I’m multi-classes geek.”
“Shut your sarcasm hole, Indie McEmopants. It was no such thing.”
“I mean, if MY boyfriend [coughcompletelyhypotheticalnevergoingtohappencough] said his heart hurts, in a completely not metaphorical emo way, I wouldn't rush him off to the doctor. Nope, not at all.”
“I love my guitar. Like, seriously LOVE it.”
“Then why don’t you MARRY it?!”
“Maybe I will.”
“Okay cool.”
“You’re invited to the wedding. It’s in December.”
“Okay. Wow guess what. For a minute I thought there was an actual wedding I was invited to. I got excited. But then… No.”
“Your liar liar pants on fire is showing again.”
“You're not. You're a lying candywhore. The candy is the most important part. And in front of that there's an invisible ‘adorable, highly-amusing’.”
“Ozma is pretty perky is you don’t listen to the lyrics.”
“Operation: get peeps to hang out during dance time is now go. You have your orders. Good luck agent.”
“Oh, and I’m sorry I chucked a Clifbar at you earlier and hit you in the face.”
“Hip gyration=AFI. Or Davey Havoc anyway.”
“I would suggest she and I start a club, but people would nickname it the emo club, so no.”
“Your emosity paired with the overwhelming want to beat the shit out of something/ experience serious bodily harm makes for an interesting combination.”
“No, I’m most definitely loony. And this make me undateable because I offer up the crazy hot and piping fresh when people meet me.”
“I dunno why, but sarcastic people usually have an accurate view of the world and people.”
“English papers suck… and who DOES check if nuns wear underwear?”
“God.”
“There’s a fine line between dumb and evil.”
“Melissa likes manwiches.”
“No, she likes men…covered in bread.”
“I can see KQ walking around with a human protractor. His brain is a human protractor.”
“Can you say quoted!”
“…No.”
“I can! ‘Quoted’!”
“I just realised you’re not as funny as I thought you were.”
“Don’t think about me when people are licking you!”
“I have only two first cousins.”
“But one of them doesn’t count because he’s a meth head.”
[laughs] “Oh, that is alarmingly close to the truth.”
“You got breasts X-rayed all over your jacket!”
“By Jove! It’s a boob!”
Things I did today (all true):
-went to school
-yelled random stuff in the halls
-walked 11 blocks to lunch
-threatened several lives in disturbingly amusing ways
-got stared at by an emo kid
-got checked out by construction workers
-fell victim to the superstition of the first to leave a table of 13 will die [But as you can see, I'm alive. Let's not hope for a car wreck.]
-passed out in the car
-came home to a yellow motorcycle in my driveway [I love Alex's bike.]
-was surprised when Gabriel and Emily appeared at my house with no one else here.
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