I'm not like them, but I can pretend.

Evening, ladies and gents. There are quiet a lot this week; a whole four pages worth. Imagine that. I don't really have much to say, really, except that there is a party at my house tomorrow and I have no idea why. Oh well. Enjoy.

Title Source: "Dumb" by Nirvana. ~I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy~


“Oh, you are me.”
“Really? Which one of us is on acid?”
“Both. Duh.”

“Bubbles can be my new nickname!”
“No, it makes you sound like a stripper.”

“Dammit man, kick the habit. Your mind is whack!”

“A section of my mind is a constant acid trip.”

“’Sokay. People either don’t listen or don’t understand the words that come out of my mouth. Or in this case fingers.”
“?”
“We’re online, Annie!”

“As my brother and I were walking home, this red sports car comes up next to us and slows down. {Cue to Jack and Annie freaking out}… {Inside anyways} {Car revs super loud and drives away.} Oh, and the car was full of teenage boys. So? But yes. And then I was like. ‘Oh yeah, Jack, they think I was hot’ and he says ‘Yeah, and then they say “Hey baby” and you say “Hi” and they say “We weren’t talking to you.” {winks at Jack}.’ … And then I found twenty bucks.”

“Him and this crazy slutorgies. I mean parties.”

“Yes you are, you lying candywhore!”
“I’m not lying or a candywhore!”
“Both! Lies! See!”

“Dammit, Banana, now I want candy!”

“1.Revoltingly? No. 2.Squishy? No. 3.Hi Brother! 4. Which brother?”

“…You’re mean. Placating me ego and all that.”

“You’re not a dude, you’re just a… Ceri.”

“Flossing is weird. My teeth don’t feel any cleaner. Dentists everywhere are just wasting people’s time.”

“Speaking of what… which. who. how. when.”
“Yesh?”
“I still want candy.”

“So, basically you want it to look like Raphael and Picasso had mad crazy sex and orgasmed art all over your room?”

“Who invented flossing?”
“Some sadistic fuckdentist.”

“From those random moments, you’d think everyone in the ’70s had ADD.”
“…What?”

“Shut up, I’m clever.”

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine kickass the medicine kick ass medicine kick asss....a spoon fulla sugar makes the medicine kick ass...in the most PUNKROXORZ WAY!”

“Oh god! White pants!”

“He’s really skinny. Did he do heroin?”
“Probably… Didn’t everyone?”

“No eat puppy!”

“I’m thinking Davy Jones was in love with an octopus.”
“And she got caught and ended up on the seafood special.”

Little Girl [In theatre, watching “Dead Man’s Chest” when the heart is seen]: “KILL IT!”

“I did this to Ali once. I told her I had Peter Wentz in my swimming pool. She about died.”

“Awesome sauce.”
“With crushed almond joys on top.”

“That should be quoted somewhere in the yearbook. Three steps to surviving Mr. Quattrin’s class: 1. Don’t poke the bear. 2. Do your homework. 3. Don’t be a knucklehead.”

“I might actually miss the stupidity of the Cornelius family… despite their constant whining.”
“Stuck in a ditch… for ten chapters.”
“For three flipping months!”
“That must have been one huge fucking ditch. They shouldn’t have said ditch. Maybe crater.”

“You know what I want? Techno and strobes for my funeral. It’s a party!”

“Do you know what I want to do in college?”
“What? Have sex?”
“Well, yes, but as a career.”

“Huh. I smell good.”
“Yay! May I sniff you when I see you next?”
“Um. Make sure your boyfriend isn’t there. He might get jealous.”

“She… makes me vomit… goldfish and sunshine doodles.”

“Eeeeewww, who would want Beyonce to play the bass? She would look so weird.”

“So, did you have news, or was that just a clever ploy to make me say something random?”

“I should become a mime. Then, people might listen to me.”

“English is a language that lurks in the darkest alleys, beats up other languages, and rifes through their pockets for spare vocabulary.”

“You’re such a girl.”
“He’s pretty like a girl.”
“You’re pretty like a girl.”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome!”

“CERI CERI GUESS WHAT!!!!
“Penguins have taken over Central Park and demand that I fly to New York with you to become queen with you as my trusted advisor of evil. Right?”
“Yes.”
“Sweet! Off to the Big Apple we go!”

“Okay, new theory: I’m attractive to girls and hoods. Whoopee.”

“Can I buy a gender?”

“Holy Robert Louis Stevenson, Batman!”

“Are you sure you’re not dating yourself?”

“It’s a Cyclops. They’re not lopsided.”
“Yesh they is.”
“No, they’re perfectly symmetrical.”
“No.”
“Yeah, they’re not. They’re all lumpy and stuff.”

“Buh buh buh buh.”
“Na na na na naaa.”
“One, two, three, DAAAAAAA!”
“What are we doing?”
“I’m a barbershop quartet. Your mom.”