One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.

That's another Oscar Wilde quote for you up yonder in the title. I got it from this book by Hornsby I am half-reading; it's about four people who instead of jumping off a building on New Year's Eve become friends and so forth. It is a good book. You should read it. In other news, I saw the new X-Men earlier this afternoon with my brother. 'Twas good, not as great as expected but decent. I could go on a giant comic-book-nerd schpeal on what they SHOULD have done, but instead I will just give thee the quotes of this, our final week of May and school. Grab a spoon and dig it.

"Can't fuckin' trust anyone."
"'Cept me. Cuz I'm cool."

"Silly Annie... Twix are for children... And also trix are for kids... And jokes are for Ceri."

"If I'm ever raped, I hope it's by you."

"Your existence is insest."

"No! I hate being in a coma!"

"No! I'm not innocent! I'm a heroin junkie!"

"Okay. Inspiration: Alex, you just won a trip to Europe. Melissa, your boyfriend just crossed a street without getting hit by a car. GO!"

[Angrily] "Are you seductively eating Poptarts again!?"

"It's the comic books trying to escape my skin." [schlpitk] "Oh my god, it's Superman Number 1!"


Sorry there are not too many. What with finals and not having a pen, there have been less remembered and/or worthy quotes. I'll try harder next time.

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability." Oscar Wilde

Here are the quotes of the week. There were a few good ones today, but no one had a pen at the pizza place and I couldn't remember them when I got home. During the summer, I might skip weeks due to lack of input. However, fear not, beloved readers! Amusement will come some way or another.

"I really want to call the pornography help line."
"There's a pornography help line? What exactly is its purpose?"
"To de-pornify you with the power of Jesus."

"Geology is like the physical evolution of earth. Don't question the placement of rocks."

"It'll be disclaimered: 'read it and like it or you'll have to answer to me bitches' with a picture of me holding up my fist."

"You're like a goldfish with the memory capacity of a human amongst other goldfish with a 3 second memory."

"The telemarketers come for my brother... Love, get me the shotgun."

"Pretty and stabbity hackity. Sounds good to me."

[About Lady in the Water]"Yeah, the demons. Mutant hedgehogs. That's all you got."

"TOOOO MUUUCHHHH FUCKING ENERGYYYY! NOTHING TO DOOOOO! I AM SO BORED! AND IN A FRENZY! GAH! GAH! GAH! I'M NOT ON CRACK!"

"Awesome! I named your future guitar! Go me!" [does the guitar naming dance]"You know it's only the best dance ever!"

"Why is it that when people get all hormoney, they say it feels like butterflies? How the fuck do they know what butterflies in their guts feel like?Did they have to have them surgically removed? Wouldn't it just be easier to shotgun the damn things?"

"Short, sweet, and to the point. Ooooohh, yeah... wait. That doesn't work at all!"

"Content: that's what a cow feels right before it's hammered."

"Naked is the most important part."

"Why would you want to arrest a naked guy?"

"'You! Stop taking that shower!' 'But I'm diiirty!'"

"What does it smell like? Blue!"

"I played poker with a set of tarot cards once. I got a full house and four people died."

"Two is alwasy better than one."
"Unless it's cancer."

"Damn navels! God damn belly buttons! Interfering wiht my life!"

"You hot the way you is!"

"Did you just impregnant Peter's elbow?"

"And then the doves came and carried Darren Criss off out of the skylight. And we were his golden cows whom he never ate."

"You're a slut doll and my sister smells like tacos."

"Sumner, stop jizzing on thte pizza. i don't want extra cheese"
[i only heard second half] "I do!"

"I'm so cool that I wave at freshman."

"That guy was on my hair."

"Sorry if I got your foot salty."

"Annie, make them shut up?"
"Hey, you guys, shut up."
"Come on, don't be sumner's bitch."
"Haha shut up, you."
"Hey annie can you-"
"I'm not your bitch."

And my personal favourite, also omitted prior:
"Because virtual pies just won't do."

I am like one who died young: all my life might have been.

As one may have gathered from the tad depressing title, I have been feeling rather artistic and thoughtful lately. The usual quotes are still meant to induce laughter, but I thought as a nice treat I might post something that I wrote midday Thursday.

On another note, advertising is a good thing amongst friends, I think, so if any one of you lovely readers would like to link my site on your lifejournals or... [shudder] myspaces, that would be fab and I would reward you in some way. I do not know what that is yet, but all in time, loves. All in time.


"When i was a child, I thought as a child, i spoke as a child and I acted as a child. And when I became an adult I put away childish thing. Until I could use my underage technically to my advantage in bringing down an example of the corrupt greedy capitalist institution."

"Our Latin sentences: people licking each other and others being mad about it."

"Perfect passive Present Infinitive: to be is done."

"BENEOR!" and "OPTISSISSIME!" [I guess you have to be a Latin student.]

"I'm really picky about what I put in my mouth... That was awkward. I don't just put anyo-thing in my mouth."

"[Homophobia] is a psychological allergicness."

"And what's the moral? Lie to your children."

"She's a little bundle of joy this tall."
"That swears."

"I hate telephones! I hate not being able to teleport!"


This is my little diddy I wrote on Thursday. It's nice read, but to get the full-blown feeling and idea it is better expressed when spoken. My little monologue, if you will.

The end of a book or series or journey is always depressing. You start out kind of awkward, not really knowing where you’re going, and somewhere you find out or decide where you are supposed to be going and you make your way there. And along the way, you meet a person or multiple persons who help or hinder you on your way. You share time and events with them and enjoy or despise them. And you see part of yourself in them, and that makes them less than static. They’re no longer outside in the unknown: they’re a vision or a voice inside your head at which you can laugh or cry or smile or scream when they appear again after their departure forthwith. You get attached to the characters, and when your time together is over, it’s sad. Like losing a friend. As a writer, it becomes worse. Not only do your newfound friends depart or get lost or die, but you created them. They are like your family and your loved ones, and when they depart, all you have left of them are memories and misled ‘what if?’s. No matter how objective you try to remain, part of your essence is taken with them. It’s like losing a friend. It depresses me. I’ve gained and lost a lot of friends…

A very merry unbirthday to you.

And a very merry one to me! That is right, ladies and gentlemen; for those of you who do not already know [I doubt there are many of you] today celebrates the sixteenth anniversary of my birth. And since people have been giving so much to me today, I decided to give you all a quote.

"You're not helping me any. 'Foooood.' Fuck you. You eat rocks!"


With liberty and cupcakes for all!

We grow up too fast, falling apart...

Well, my lovelies, here we are. It is Friday, and that means, I decided, that an update is in order. I intend on updating every Friday with quotes from the week, but if more are needed, so shall more be made. Also, the chances of my adding random little updates on life in general are rather good, so look out for those.

It occurred to me yesterday that I give no sources for these quotes, but that is not disrecognising the speakers and giving credit where credit is due: I merely wish to save them—and myself— some cheesed-off time for my quoting them on something they perhaps had not wanted published. Rejoice, ye mortals, and revel in the anonimity.

As promised and hopefully awaited, quotes from this, the second week of May 2006.

"Sometimes you have to act like a minion so you can get into a position where you can stab them in the back and trample on their bloody body."

"That's magic! You're a magic Annie!"

"Cheeze is at cheeze temperature, thank you."

"Sorry, folks. You're going to have to get off... apparently this bus is on fire."

"I've told you before: I have ESP."
"Well I have PS2. Does that count for anything?"

"Your greatest enemy is...? We saw it yesterday."
"Oprah?"

"If she starts making sense, the natural order of the world will crumble."
"And then where we be when we want to make pancakes?"
"Exactly. With its soft and buttery goodness."

"Anyway... so Father Stiegeler contrabands toilet paper."

"SANTA'S A NAZI! HIDE THE CHILDREN!"

"Don't mess with China, bitches!"

"I'd rather have an alphabet than an empire; it's like, I've found the meaning of life, but you can't read it."


And, my personal favourite despite its omittence in the first post...

"Amoebas are angry!"

Preliminary Quotes of the Week

As I have not yet decided on how precisely I shall be managing this bloody annoynace— I mean, lovely site with which to communicate with people— for now I will play it by ear. I figure if I collect quotes by the week, the laughter will be of greater numbers. However, since I managed to figure this out with the Lovely Miss Annie —yes, that is her title— I shall update now. Or rather, now:

"So... Father Stiegeler is a piranha?"

[glares at the can of pineapple] "Be a mango!"


That is just a taste from the last two days. I hope you look forward to more.

There is one thing I know. It goes like this:

Salutations, ciao , wassup, bonjour, hola, salvete, aloha, gutentag, geia sas, groeten, hei, and hyvä ilta!
[That is a greeting in twelve different languages, thank you.]

The point of this blog is, as one may have inferred, to put out into circulation quotes that have been said by yours truly or someone I know. It is purely for amusement, so if you find yourself offended by something—hopefully unlikely— repeat to yourself, Life is too short to be taken seriously. All speakers shall remain anonymous for their own well being and reputation (although I say forget the whole thing and do what thou wilt).

And so, without further ado, I present to you, my beloved reader, life at its essence.

"Be yourself, don't take anyone else's shit, and never let them take you alive."

"And virtual pies just won't do."

"Heh, you know, maybe we should just sublimate our own wills into the collective."
"Bite your tongue, child!"

"Do the Jesus!"

"Yeah, dead sexy like a corpse."

"You're anorexic? Psh, keep going."

"We should buy a lot of land and graze emos. You know, like an emo kid hunting ground!"

"I'd rather have an alphabet than an empire."

"And that's why sluts aren't allowing in nudist colonies."

"I don't think people should try to be emo. If they do, there's something seriously wrong with them."

"[bares claws] RRRAAAARRR! I'M A GRAPE!"

"The thought of college makes my vision all wonky."

"Just because we're in honours Geometry doesn't mean we can count."

"When people die, they go to France."

"Who doesn't like sex drums?"

"I'm not wearing any pants right now!"

"Increase the touch!"

"We're not allowed to have opinions in that class. Or ideas!"
"Is your english teacher a communist?"

"I like my women with curves ) ( not angles < >."

"You're so pretty. I just want to shoot you in the face."

"I think that's the room where the dead people are."

"That's so wrong!"
"But it's so... sexy!"

"You're not invited to the revolution, and we're gonna have cake, so it sucks for you!"

"In a related study, Jews cause cancer."
"But only if you smoke them."