Fine time to fake a seizure.

I'm close to personally disliking JK Rowling. For the all-important reason that she succeeding in killing an overwhelming majority of my favourite characters. The bird's death was ridiculous, and killing Fred was just unnecessary. Don't get me started on Tonks and Lupin; I'm still irked about Sirius.

[wince] I'm not a nerd, I swear.

Are there any good shows coming up soon? I need to squeeze in a couple for summer's end.

Alkaline Trio: "Nose Over Tail"


"I'm bored."
"I'm sexy, but you don't see me complaining."
"...You are? When did this happen?"

"By the way, why would you complain if you were sexy? Your logic is deeply flawed."
"Because sometimes being sexy has its downfalls. Girls chasing me, you know."
"...No. I have no idea."
"tch."
"It's not my fault I'm not a chick-magnet."

"What can I say? I'm a literary whore."

"Evil spawn, for teh win."

"I'm so hungie."
"Go eat, n00b."
"There's no food, boob."
"Don't use my anatomy against me!"

"His house is so hot."
"His? HIS? WHOSE HOUSE ARE YOU AT? HOT SEX?!"
"This house, I meant."
"I loved that typo."
"I loved how you instantly leapt to hot sex."

"I think I need to do laundry. My clothes smell like perfume... and boy."
"Mmm. Boy smell is usually a good thing."
"Yes, but I don't know why my clothes smell like boy. Which is a tad disconcerting."
"A cross dresser loves your style and steals your clothes?"
"Possibly, but how has he gotten into my house?"
"Teleportation. Duhhh."

"Listening to Bob Dylan is so much better than the people I know."

"'I hope I get mythology!' Yeah, I hope you shut the hell up, but we don't always get what we want."

"This is why I hang out with my brothers' friends: they're older, cuter, smarter, make better conversation, and don't argue about the stupidest shit every time we hang out."
"Important part of that: cuter."

"So I've been thinking, for several years actually, about carrying around a notebook and saying that I've joined a special order of Tibetan nuns and have taken a vow of silence."
"Tibet doesn't have nuns. They don't practise christianity. They have monks."
"They don't know that."

[phone rings] My sister in the next room: "Jeezy!"
"...Did she just say 'jeezy'?"

"Fine, be a sour puss."
"Alright, I fucking will."
"No need to cuss, man. Brianna dislikes cussing."
"My condolences to Brianna."
"She's not smart, stop using big words."
"Okay, I'm sorry I swear like a fucking angry dude."
"'How do you say that word?' Con dole en says. 'What the frig does that mean?!'"

An unreviewed life is not worth living.

Okay, so I'm tweaking the actual proverb a bit, but I doubt anyone would know that. I decided to do at the very least one person a favour and write unofficial reviews for two things, one main-stream media and the other media probably no one's ever heard of: "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" and "Ethan Frome".

Anyone who's been to a movie with me will tell you that I have this weird disorder that hinders me from making comments (usually at the expense of the actors, crew, directors, and anyone involved with the project) through the whole thing. And a lot have probably heard my various rants of my poor opinion of the Harry Potter movies. (No shit the books are better.) But for once I had very little bad to say about this one.

...Except that Harry's the most emo protagonist since Peter Parker and that Sirius didn't get killing-cursed before falling through the Curtain of No Return. Which wasn't even a curtain, by the way. I also got the feeling that they left a huge chunk out of the middle. I don't really remember what happened in that huge middle chunk, but I'm sure it was more interesting than the middle of the movie.

And now, for those friends and acquaintances of mine who are taking AP English their upcoming senior year, "Ethan Frome" is probably one of the more long-winded, redundant, and dull books I've ever had to read. The first chapter is the worse, so you might as well just skip it.

Aside from that, it's not that bad. It just goes on forever. Edith Wharton should have done herself and the entire English-speaking world a favour and made it a short story. With my powers of approximation, I decided that the book could be perfectly condensed to one-tenth its size. Yes, for every TEN pages in the 180-page book, only ONE of text actually tells the story. I'm not one for Sparknotes, but I wouldn't blame you for this one.

Conclusively, I should say that I would recommend the fifth Harry Potter movie and pity the souls of those who have to read Ethan Frome. Sad way to waste two and a half hours.

Chances are I'm doing another one of these reviews, or adding to this one, tomorrow or Sunday, as I will have finished the final Rowling installment by then. Damn you, Ian, for reading it online before I could.

I'm a statue baby, Knock me out

Hey, it's technically Friday. But the evening was a vast improvement over the actual Fourth of July. Fireworks in the pool: fantastic. Especially when that one fell over and melted a hole through the plastic tub (aka the boat). But I smell like beach (but not in a bad way), and my hair's all... sexy. And of course, this is all after everyone has left. Thusly, it is further proven that I am only attractive when no one's around. And after shows, but that doesn't count. Everything is sexy after a show.

Title Source: "Paralyzed" by The Used. Because all the best music I've been listening to recently is entirely instrumental.


"Damn it! I smell like raspbitch!"

"I hope that you are a disaster. I'm sorry, but I do. I hope that you are thunder and lightning. I hope you are a forest fire, I hope you kill the dead wood and burn off the rotting leaves. With the canopy gone, the sun can get in. You need new growth. I hope you're terrible and broken and perfect."

"You liiiiiiiiiike hiiiiiim!!!"
"Ader. Uh der? Uh duh? Yes, I like the bastard!"
"Good for you. This explains the alcohol."

"Sounds like a plan. Except for the eloping. Can we leave that out?"

[my dad and I watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels]
"...I know a guy who has a tongue as long as Gene Simmons. It's kind of weird."
"Stay away from him."

"I think I should stop eating these Cheerios. The lack of milk is making me swear like Larissa."

"It's funny how Pete looks fat next to Billiam. Seriously."
"Dude, Kate Moss would look fat next to Beckett."

"Should I bring anything tomorrow?"
"A smile."
"And pants."
"Yes...pants."
"And make Jon take a shower. And wear pants."

[sigh] "Everybody's mother."
"Hates us? Yes. Because we're the girls their sons fantasize over. And we're the girls that give their daughters a run for their money, and we're the girls... that give the rest of the world... something to wonder about. More power to us!"

"Or... my whoringness works."
"I know! Whoring me out like some literary callgirl!"