A True Friend Stabs You In The Front

Today would have been alright if I didn't get a piece of wood in my eye and have no less than three sets hit me. I knew I shouldn't have shown up at all; it was 3:35 for God's sake. And for some reason, the new Arcade Fire album is not downloading on my computer. QUITE annoying.

And no one else ever updates their blogs anymore except for me.

Title Source: Oscar Wilde, quoted by Pency Prep in "Attention Reader"


“But I do want to go see more local shows.”
“Same.”
“Okay, I also need to stop chewing on electrical wire.”
“Yes. Yes you do.”

“I sandwich them together with chocolate in the middle when they’re warm to make it yummy, or I can put some syrup on.”
“Sounds like diabetes.”
“But it’s Valentine’s day, so diabetes is okay.”

“No, they never came home.”
“No, I was talking about the Oreos.”
“Oh. Well, they never came home either.”

“Why do you have Jesus between your boobs?”

Mister O’Keefe: “If you don’t know the mass, potential energy don’t mean sh– nothing.”

“Okay, genocide. All in favour?”

Hold your ground, because we don't care what you may think is wrong or right.

Have you ever sat and thought about what life would be like if you were someone else? How do you think you would see yourself? Would you still know the things you know now? Would you even see the same person? Do you ever feel completely unloved? Do you ever get survivor's guilt for someone whom you beat out for the spot in existence? Did they find somewhere else to fit themselves in? Have you ever gotten the feeling thta you can't trust anyone? Why does it seem like I'm wasting my life? Have you ever been hanging out with your friends and realised that you're not having a good time anymore? Do you ever seek out one lone individual just to have a different point of view? Did you ever fall in love with them? Have you convinced yourself of hatred to stop your heart from pounding? Would you rather hurt knowing they didn't feel the same way or dream and pretend without basis that they do?

Title Source: "Trainwreck" by Dexter Danger. RIP.


"In Junior year after rehearsal, this guy from Licoln sprayed my friend in the eyes with mace, so I chased him and his friends down in my car before realising, oh shit. But I didn't. It would have been justice, but not equal justice. But he deserved it."
"Thanks, Hammurabi."

"Don't judge a book by how many colours are on the cover!"

"In John 23:7 God said to the people, "Tagalongs are the best!""

"I don't care what you put down your pants, I'm not tying your shoe!"

"Can I get you anything?"
"Sexual favours to make the pain go away?"

"Are we ever going to read a story where the American dream actually comes true?"

"You learned about justice, Mr. Evans. Don't drug yourself into submission!"

"Gabe, why do you have a cantaloupe?"
"It's not mine!"
"Whose is it?"
"Danny's."
"Why do you have Danny's cantaloupe?"
"I stole it."
"...Danny, this is my strangest question of all: why did Gabe steal your cantaloupe?"
"I don't know!"

"Emily, do I rhyme with violence and pestilence and doom?" *receives high five* "Okay, I guess I do."

"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."
"Slash gives me food poisoning."
"And ebola."

"What are you doing, Evan Hughes? That is not a drum!"

If assholes could fly, this place would be busier than O'Hare

I just found this out (hey, who knew Physics would teach me something unimportant and random?): J. Robert Oppenheimer, who was quoted for saying during the first nuclear bomb testing, "I am become death, destroyer of worlds", headed the Manhattan Project. And his brother started the Exploratorium.

Kind of funny in a sad way, isn't it?

You've got standards, girl, so what the hell are you doing with me?

No offence meant to anyone I have ever gone to a concert with, but that was the best show I have ever experienced. And probably the sweatiest. But that's alright, because I felt and still feel fantastic (as opposed to before when I felt right sick). Conor is pretty much my favourite person for getting me in FOR FREE and for holding my shit away from the hoi polloi of other sweaty people. I also love Rudraigh for calling him for the hook-up, Alex for driving, Mike for being entertaining, and Danny for introducing me to the Matches in the first place and giving me a ride.

Small intimate rock show > huge arena shows.

But I still can't get that song out of my head. Why can't I forget what Shawn said?

Yeah, you're pretty good-lookin'... for a girl.

Oh my god! I just saw My Chemical Romance last night and now I'm going to see the Matches at Slim's! Could this week get any better?

Title Source: "Pretty Good Looking for a Girl" by The White Stripes. First song that popped into my head.


“Butter. That’s what I use for condoms.”

“Brain fluid cake!”

“Can’t argue with quotes. Always great.”

“Punching people in the head just hurts. Unless you’re drunk.”
“Drunk people don’t feel pain!”

“Don’t step on my hair.”
“He’s not stepping. He’s standing.”
“Don’t stand on my stomach.”
“I’m not standing; I’m stepping!”

“Pretty much. Oh well. Fate wins this round of poker with my life.”
“Poker.” [snicker]

“I can’t picture him being a pedophile.”

“You’re like Mary, and you’ve been turned out of the inn, so go have your baby in a haystack.”
“Go find your Bethlehem!”

“How would you feel if you were in Iraq and George Bush took a nap on the couch? I’d be fucking pissed.”
“And it’s not even his couch. It’s Justin’s couch!”

“Would you leave the sex in the fountain alone?!”

“That’s gross.”
“That’s art. Get over it.”

“Think about it. Would you want a bunch of obese koalas hanging around your house?”

“This just in: the internet has run out of space.”
“We attempted to delete all the porn sites, but there was a huge outcry from white, aged men.”

“Why are you smelling Dan’s neck?”
“It smells like cherry!”

“Dan’s neck, Ceri’s tongue, he’s just on a roll today.”

“The Black Plague is back… in style.”

“Well, we have the short version of Livy.”
“Sparknotes saves the world again.”

“Hey, if he pulls a demon out of you, can I have it?”

“Did you know a sneeze in an eighth of an orgasm, so if you sneeze eight times in rapid succession, you’ll cum?”
“…I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Auschwitz was a theme park gone wrong!”

“Well, who would you rather see? The Matches or MC… oh, Danny, right.”

“Why is that baby grey?”

“Oh shit, I’ve been voted off the island!”

“Is this yours? You don’t strike me as the headband type o’ gal.”
“No, more head bang.”

Just a shame, just a drag, just the USA

Hey everybody. It's that time of the week again. Quotes Time! (As you might have been able to tell, I really can't think of anything interesting to say.) Oh wait, no. I got my license! Yeah okay. Now quotes.

Title Source: "Falling Down" by The Redwalls. Them and the Greenhornes I would suggest to any Beatles fans.


"It's okay, Will, because your name is a verb!"

Katie: "I cause pregnancies!"

Allegra: "Mother, I know I'm ready to take the vows of poverty, obesity– wait."

"My question isn't about homework. It's actually about your facial hair."

"Monotheism is boring."

"Emily's driving is Grim Reaper approved."

"I don't want toasty toes!"

"So I just run on?"
"Well, run like a nun."
"Nun run!"

"I love your costumes. It makes me want to live in Iran."

"Here's magnetism. Prepare to die."

"Yeah right. This thing has the acceleration of a brick."

"Satutory rape is the cheez whiz of rape. Or maybe velveeta."

"This is better than underwear!"

I love you so much, but do me a favour, baby: don't reply. 'Cause I can dish it out but I can't take it.

I've got nothing.

Title Source: "Limousine (MS Rebridge)" by Brand New. Not to sounds melodramatic, but waiting for a chance to seriously think/say this.

"Well, making Caesar dictator is different from making Caesar cookies."
"Or is it?"

"I would have made you latch onto me like Siobhan in an armadillo fight."

"Curses of locked pie!"

"Seduction is uncomfortable."

"She looks like a prostitot."

"Balloon black babies!"

"Is it weird that all us theatre people always congregate towards the bed?"

"Did I already show you my squirrels?

"You got to take the money out of the bank."
"Did she just compare my chest to a bank?"