There's a man in my head

Actually, there are several, but one in particular is prominent at the moment. He is a brooding poet lounging on his fainting couch, pondering the misery of life. In actuality, he is a woman masquerading as a man, feeling lost in the world, but right in her breeches and tailcoat.


He wears this shirt beneath...


...this coat, and black and white vertically-striped pants, having kicked off his boots and left them somewhere in the house for the servant to put away. He is greatly revered as a poet and admired by both men and women for being of great beauty. The written word is his true love, however.

My, How Times Change

"I'm usually the bad guy. That's how it always seems to be," explains the guitarist to MTV News. "I've tried not to read a lot of the comments our fans have been making about this, because I really hope they don't think it was me who caused the split. We were all just going in different directions, musically. That's it."

"The photo was taken a couple of weeks ago — I do remember, believe it or not. I'm not gonna tell you whose house it was at, but yeah, there was a party the night before, and I slept on the couch, and we took a picture. I didn't even really know [the cocaine] was there."

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan... What the hell happened to you? You used to have such personality and pizazz and...NOT be a moron. I blame your questionable taste in women (as seen in this photograph) and that time you spent in a cabin in the woods. I think it drove you insane—I use "the piano knows something I don't know" as evidence. Sure, it's a good line, but you sound mad as a balloon.

Shame, really. I used to be in love with that kid. Ah well.

We Live in a Strange World

We live in a strange world, where not only will people—yes, human beings, the self-proclaimed most intelligent race on the planet, and in some cases the universe—will make ridiculous things so pointless that other people will be fascinated by said items for years and years, but where other people will buy these ludicrous products.

I have one such product at my disposal for exposition. Now, you've all heard of the Magic 8 Ball, correct? Well, I have something better! ...In some definition.


Yes. The Answer Me Jesus. As if Magic 8 Balls weren't weird enough, let's shape one like a god and saviour and throw some heresy into our fun! Not only is the thing Peptobismal pink enough to make anyone uncomfortable, but I have to admit that it has an incredible amount of detail in the design.


But of course, since it's a Magic Religion Satire, it has to have a polygonal die with "answers" floating in blue water on the inside. And it does. Such sayings include, "I still love you", "I died for this?", "Repent!", "I would!", "Resist the Devil", "Have faith," and my personal favourite, "Let me ask my dad."

Aside from the utter glee that this brings to the wholly paganistic former-Catholic part of me, it fills me with a feeling that just makes me go "....bwaaah?" Really, there's no other way to describe it. It whizzes past confusion laughing maniacally at its own ridiculosity—and the fact that it's fucking pink—and dances around like something out of a Monty Python sketch.

Found at a rummage sale by my stepmother, purchased as a gift for a friend. Find your own on the internet, another magical land of weirdness.

What is up with everything dying?!

Las Vegas quartet Panic At The Disco have officially been cut in half: As of earlier today, guitarist/primary songwriter Ryan Ross and bassist Jon Walker have departed from the group. Ross and Walker have issued the following statement regarding the split on their website:

"Ryan Ross and Jon Walker will be leaving Panic at the Disco to embark on a musical excursion of their own. Though the four of us have made music together in the past, we've creatively evolved in different directions which has compromised what each of us want to personally achieve. Over the years, we have remained close and honest with each other, which helped us to realize that our goals were different and that parting ways is truly what is best for each of us. We are all excited for the future, you should be too.

-Ryan & Jon"

The band's website also says a message from vocalist Brendon Urie and drummer Spencer Smith will be coming shortly, and that the band's upcoming tour dates with Blink-182 will still go on as scheduled.

So... pretty much my good day is a little bit ruined. I love Panic(!) at the Disco, and yes I refuse to let the ! die because it made them so interesting. But I suppose it's good Brendon and Spencer are staying together and Ryan and Jon are staying together. STILL!

Things That Reek of What The Fuckery #3

I never thought I'd have regular segments on a blog, but so it seems. And this one's a doozy.


Westboro God Hates The World Music Video - Watch more Funny Videos

I'm... near speechless. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say the phrase "fag beasts" much less sing it. But seriously, they're ruining music, one of the purest expressions of love and human emotion, with your disgusting, relentless hate. I don't see how they can justify preaching this. I thought the New Testament God was all about love and forgiving your neighbour and such. Or maybe I misunderstood for thirteen fucking years of my life.

That little girl at the end makes my chest hurt. Her parents do not deserve to procreate.