But his bosses didn't like him, so they shot him into space!

Well, this has been a pretty good week, all in all. Slept late, wrote some things, sent three of my evil hoards on a mission to pillage, plunder, rape, and marauder in Canada and the Midwest, went bowling, saw some friends, ate some friends, made fun of a couple bad movies, and finally figured out why the date on these updates was always wrong. I'd say I've been productive, wouldn't you all agree? Wouldn't you?! You don't want me to send another sixteen hoards to YOUR house, do you? Ahem. I thought not.


“The crying will be unbearable. Emo kids everywhere will be slitting their wrists, punks will be loosing their voices from yelling gibberish about numbers, and the artsy people will write poetry about how a part of their lives is missing.”

“You’re very devious. You break the wills of those around you. Preparing yourself for world domination?”
“Of course. What else is there?”

“It’s your way of retaliating against myspace. You rebel, you.”

“Make me go through all the work of bookmarking you. You evil bitch.”
“’Swhat I do.”
“And you do it well.”

“Fine. I think it’s a cavefish but whatever.”

“What’s the haps, homie?”
“Well, got in a drive-by. You know, the usual.”

“I went to Pizza Orgasmica for the first time. Guess which one we chose, kama sutra, menage a trois, or doggie style?”
“Um, Kama Sutra?”
“Nope doggie style”
“What does that mean anyway? I mean, in terms of pizza?”
“Well it has the most meat, and yes it was orgasmic, probably because I was hungry.”
“Hmm. I might have to try it. The pizza, not the sex.”

“My lip tastes faintly of blood. Probably because I’ve been biting it.”
“Maybe you fell into a trance and then hunted a poor soul in an alley somewhere, piercing their neck and drinking their blood.”
[Laughs] “Maybe. I hope s/he was hot.”

“It’s always more entertaining when cute things say profane things.”
“Of course. That’s why the Chucky movies were so popular.”
“Chucky wasn’t cute, unless you mean in that homicidal sort of way.”

“Biggest fear?”
“Um… dying friendless and alone in a freezing alley in some city I've never been to before after being brutally tortured, mugged, and raped? Either that or the things that come out of the dark when I'm not paying attention.”

“So anyway, Mulan would definitely kick Pocahontas’s ass.”

“c.r.a.p. = curious raving angry person.”

“b.i.t.c.h.= being in touch can help”

“w.h.o.r.e.= wandering hostile over regurgitating enemas”

“F.U.C.K. = fine umbrella carousels kill”

“s.p.e.c.i.a.l.= super punching entertaining clown initiating anarchy league”

“It makes sense that Life’s a bitch, because if it were a slut, it would be easy.”

“Hi, what’s up?”
“DEATH TO THE INFIDEL!”
“What the hell?”
“You heard!”

“Hey, guess what happened today?”
“Um… I kicked you in the head again?”

“Your sugary goodness will succumb to me, bitch!”

“Aaaaaaand… now I’m blind. The sun and that window across the street were sexing right in view of my poor eyes. I mean, all over each other, man!”

“maybe I release drugs in my breath and makes it seem like everything is funny
“you shall laugh!” *breathes on you*
[laughs]you crazy”
“yeah me crazy am I what thinks you”
“Okay Yoda, whatever you say”

“Traitor! Burn her at the stake mob of evil minions!”

“I never judge people. It’s part of the code. The Code.”
“The Ceri Code. A mystery of beauty and knowledge.”
“And pudding! Don’t forget the pudding!”

“It’s weird how you never see Asian emos.”

“Gah, my bed doesn’t even move this much.”
“…Yes it does.”

“I don’t think I could handle stitching up someone’s face.”

[To Gabe and Sumner] “You guys are such a cute couple.”

“Oh, i had the weirdest dream. Okay, well, for one thing I was black, and I was in a photoshoot making out with Justin Timberlake.”
[laughs] “Sound like a party.”
“Yeah, and the photographer was like ‘get closer together, yeah grope each other more, yeah just like that.’”

“Dear lord, if another kids bop album comes out I will shoot someone in the face.”
“Sung by kids aka we couldn't get the rights to the actual songs.”

Your life is your own. Your death, likewise. Always and forever your own. Farewell. We shall not meet

Yeah, yeah. I know what you all are thinking. "Holy shit! She did something trendy!" Well, don't get used to it. I got really bored on Monday morning and did this. Not quite the spitting image, but you get the idea. Anyway, I do not think I have much to say, because if I talk too much I will start to sound like Delirium, not that any of you know who that is. Oh well, I'll just follow my fishie. By the way, in case you are interested, the title is a quote from Dream to his son Orpheus... you'll have to read it.


The Law of Conservation of Boredom State:
"Boredom cannot be created nor destroyed, only a) transferred from person to person or b)delayed. Both are true, yet mutually exclusive."

"We're all watching a Kevin Bacon movie really."
"How do you mean?"
"Well Kevin Bacon's in a lot of movies."
"Oh. I thought you were about to say something profound. My bad."

"Oh well. Me and my silly expectations."

"Does this bass make my ass look big?"

"Do you want me to lick it for you?"

"Only one of those things grace the human tongue, moron, unless you lick your comic books. Freak."
"..."
"Thought so."

"I like to think you're Annie McAwesomeface. And it's true!"

"No, you didn't. You passed with flying colours."
"No, that was the Gay Pride Parade passing by."

"Because I love you enough to hurl nasty-ass insults at you for fun."

"I think I like Streetwalker Fuckenstein the best."

"I think I got an STD from just hearing you talk."

"Come on, one look at my face sends people wild."
"Yeah, screaming."

"Veelas are for Potter; Auroras are for Ceri."

"And no, I do not lie. Brendon Urie would mkae sex with you, so you have to be hot."

"You have pudding, you greedy slug."
"I am not a naked snail, you... amoeba.'
"Hey, angry amoeba. Get it right."

"Hey... how do you feel about... chocolate sauce?"

"Explain the voice and the screaming. He definitely has a set of lungs on him... must have some practice."

"We are now the Dead Duck Club."

"Shut up, I can make pancakes."
[quietly] "...I can lick things."

"Everything sounds better in the context of an orgy."


It occurs to me that maybe you had to have been there for most of these quotes.
Oh well. Sucks for you who weren't.

"Yay wonderous site address, at last you have found me!"

So. We meet again. The title is a quote, one of many, from Beverly, whom I lobe. No, that is not a typo. The date above, contrastively, is a typo. [See second-to-last comment below] In case anyone cares, I am going to Santa Cruz tomorrow very early in the morning and staying out all day. I hope the rest of you have a lovely day as well.

"But everyone has the capacity to be an asshole. He just chooses to abuse it."

"True, despite your alarminging inability to spell a three-letter word."

"I got an A+ in badassery and comebacks back in Awesome School."

"But I shall return, valiantly and ungrammatically!"

"You know it's "Game Over" when someone starts to bleed."

"So it turns out I commited a misdemeanor, but Lesley's nose is okay."

"Lobe me? Like ear lobes? That's kinda gross."

"I lobe you with all three ears."

"Hmmm... Brendon Urie covered in maple syrup... Woah, where did that come from?"
"Hmm, Brendon...oh so sticky and sweet....ummm"

"I love you. You're sexier than maple syrup."

"You know the guy on the Brawny towels? The old guy with the mustache, not the new one. Do you think he was gay?"
"Gayer than the guy from She Wants Revenge."

"I love you. Let me eat your crocodile."
"Only if the crocodile won't eat me back. And as long as it's kosher."

"Who is teh l33t roxsauce?! I am!"
"...You've been talking to Annie again haven't you?"

"I feel poetic."
"Ironic, me too. In an angry, fuck-you sort of way."

"I present to you, Father Anthony Sauer"
[Standing Ovation]
"But he hasn't said anything yet!"

"No, Mario will always be a fat Italian plumber."
"Like my dad!"

"This isn't working. Let's get some infinite monkeys."

"That man wears more makeup than I do in a week."
"Yes. He wears makeup. And then pretends he's Hitler."
"Hey, screaming fans? Giant posters? Sounds like a party to me!"

"Democracy is founded on one simple rule - get out there and vote or I will motherfucking kill you."

"Pet, salsa, what's the difference? I mean slave. Geez, what the fuck am I typing?"

"Huh. So it does. Disregard that."
"No!"
"Okay, or don't."


This last one is from a graphic novel I read recently, on Tuesday to be precise. There exist a handful of them, all written by Neil Gaiman. In case you have heard of him before or I have blathered on to you about him, the series is called "The Sandman" and this particular graphic novel is a side story about Lord Shaper's sister, called "The Time of Your Life." It may seem odd for me to banter on about seemingly-unimportnt nonsense, but I think you should read the series. It would do you some good. Anyway.

"Look, at the risk at sounding really stupid, I don't believe Death is some cute gothette. I don't believe Death's a person. Death's nothing. Death's a void. Death's playing a C chord on a Fender Strat which unfortunately happens to be live."

The thought of that makes me all... <3... inside, and you know that's an amazing feeling, because I never do the stupid less than 3 hearts thing.

With just a look they shook and heavens bowed before him.

Guess who will be rocking out at BFD all day tomorrow? If you said me, you are 100% correct. If you said Phil the Salmon King, you should seek psychiatric help. In another front, some of the quotes may be kind of obscure or bizarre this week. Do not know what I was thinking. Can someone define for me "professional cameras"? Because if I am disallowed to take pictures tomorrow, you all will have a very sad rocker on your hands. Anyway, on with the hilarity!


"Interests include: staring at the sun, thinking of new names for colours, and long walks on the beach."

"I hate long walks on the beach."
"Yeah. It's kind of boring. BROING BROING BROING!"
[laughs] "Onomatopoetic much?"

"'Cause they no respond."
"Well they loser."

"Sploosh."
"What went sploosh?"
"Dead fish on the floor."
"...Seriously?"
"No."
"Gah, way to get my hopes up."

"Not exactly viewer of Discovery Channel, yes."

"LSD caused the Salem Witch Trials."

"You need an excuse to be insane? When did that memo come and where the hell was I?"
"[Our religion teacher] passed it out, but you were asleep. So was everyone else."

"I feel separated from my own frickin' gender."

[sings] "OH SWEET MISERY OF LIFE, AT LAST I HAVE FOUND YOU!"

"Okay, so here's teh plan—"
"Teh planzorz?"

"I am the constant party-thrower... Fear me!"

"Lalala~! I have a huge orange~! It has über yums~!"

"An infinite number of monkeys at infinite typewriters."

"The 'We Will Eat Your Face' Club. And our theme will be 'What Is Love?' from Night At The Roxbury. *Dance, Dance, Dance, Eat Face, Dance, Dance*"

"Sorry I just made sex noises into your computer, but anyway."