What the hell made me love you?

A question I've been asking myself a lot recently, about a lot of things and people. All this introspection and outrospection is in due cause of Saturday's upcoming events: graduation. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited as hell to be leaving an institution (admittedly running headlong into another one), but the massive change is enough to get anyone thinking. Anyone of my mental capacities anyway. I don't know; maybe I'm not as ecstatic to say, "So long, suckers!" and run screaming away from the people with whom I've spent four long, arduous years.

Don't ask me. I'm just a kid. A legal adult, but still just a kid. Aren't we all, though, just trying to figure all this shit out. Maybe I'm naive or maybe I'm pretentious, but I'm working on knowing. Call me if you've got answers. I'm an endless pit of questions that beg definition.


"Hell yeah, I'm from Africa!"

"You can't stop people wearing wedding rings anymore than you can... well, I guess you can stop naked lesbians."

"She's the herald of doom... with a smile!"

"My dick is always out of commission."

"Matt, no giving other guys' girlfriends lapdances. Oh, hey, Mr. Gavin!"

"It's all about the elephants, Mr. Zatkin."

"If you're turning 18
and you're a bit of a queen,
then eat. a. banana!"

"If you're turning 26
and you like big... marshmallows
then eat. a. banana!"

"Cloverfield was a banana!"

"I know why you're so sad! You haven't had sex yet!... Sex class..."

"Jezebel... how can I forget?"

"Lions are not aerodynamic. Better gel that shit down."


And finally, some words of wisdom.

Mr. Gavin's Guide to College Success
Class: "Just go to it. It'll help."
Cocaine: "You will fail. End of story."
Condoms: "If you're watching tv, and oh! there's a penis! USE CONDOMS!"

I am witness 19 of 20 years.

Today is my older brother's birthday. He turns 20. My mind, she is blown, but then again I myself am turning quite a number myself in eleven days. Somehow I always manage to throw myself into an intellectual tizzy when someone I know has a birthday, particularly when it's a significant number. For instance several of my friends have been turning eighteen. I am agog to think that I have survived this long, though thinking of all the things I've done, all the things I haven't done, all the things I might have done... I fear for the future.

But for now, I'll live in the moment and smile at the sweet child's innocence of my cousin Delilah. She is two. I wish I could spent more time with her, and show her all the wonderful, magical things that life has to offer. Her fascination with a fish-shaped cup amuses me to no end. I myself can't remember when I delighted in such a thing.

I'm getting too despondent in this line of thought. It's a birthday. I need another piece of cake.



"I remember when people started calling me 'sir'. Like at the check-out or something. And then I remember when it stopped sounding odd."

"I'm waiting to use the line 'I have underwear that's older than you'."

"The other day I yelled at some skate punks. I told them to get a frickin' job."
"How old were they?"
"Like thirteen. And then I drove away laughing."

My two-year old cousin Delilah: "Where's the cake going?"
"I have to cut it up and put it on plates."
Delilah: "Oh, okay. I'll help you!"

"Someone has to go under Mom's house and dig everything out."
"Aww, man. Am I gonna find Penguin's cave under there or something?"

"Do you want some cake?"
"No, sweetie, I'm still eating pizza."
"But you need some cake!"

"Heroes didn't have any direction before the writers' strike. They just flipped through a couple of old X-Men comics and picked out the good parts."

"Imagine this: Jay and Silent Bob and Deadpool. What an awesome movie that would be! Fuck the Green Hornet movie, make this!"

Delilah: [pulls her dress over her face] "You can't see me!"

"Sweetheart, be careful trying to walk all the way to the kitchen with your dress over your head. There are a lot of things that could hurt you."
"I'll be fine!" [bumps into rocking chair] "Whoopsie!"

[Delilah singing]
"It's like hanging out with Mori. ~Everything I say is a song~."

"Delilah, I don't want that on my cake."
"Why not?"
"Because we don't put toys on cake. They don't taste good."

Delilah: "Where shall he land?"
"How about right here? This seems like a good spot."
"But there's no tea there!"

"She discovered her first cigarette on the street about six months ago. She said, 'What's that?' So I bought her a pack."