Well, this has been a pretty good week, all in all. Slept late, wrote some things, sent three of my evil hoards on a mission to pillage, plunder, rape, and marauder in Canada and the Midwest, went bowling, saw some friends, ate some friends, made fun of a couple bad movies, and finally figured out why the date on these updates was always wrong. I'd say I've been productive, wouldn't you all agree? Wouldn't you?! You don't want me to send another sixteen hoards to YOUR house, do you? Ahem. I thought not.
“The crying will be unbearable. Emo kids everywhere will be slitting their wrists, punks will be loosing their voices from yelling gibberish about numbers, and the artsy people will write poetry about how a part of their lives is missing.”
“You’re very devious. You break the wills of those around you. Preparing yourself for world domination?”
“Of course. What else is there?”
“It’s your way of retaliating against myspace. You rebel, you.”
“Make me go through all the work of bookmarking you. You evil bitch.”
“’Swhat I do.”
“And you do it well.”
“Fine. I think it’s a cavefish but whatever.”
“What’s the haps, homie?”
“Well, got in a drive-by. You know, the usual.”
“I went to Pizza Orgasmica for the first time. Guess which one we chose, kama sutra, menage a trois, or doggie style?”
“Um, Kama Sutra?”
“Nope doggie style”
“What does that mean anyway? I mean, in terms of pizza?”
“Well it has the most meat, and yes it was orgasmic, probably because I was hungry.”
“Hmm. I might have to try it. The pizza, not the sex.”
“My lip tastes faintly of blood. Probably because I’ve been biting it.”
“Maybe you fell into a trance and then hunted a poor soul in an alley somewhere, piercing their neck and drinking their blood.”
[Laughs] “Maybe. I hope s/he was hot.”
“It’s always more entertaining when cute things say profane things.”
“Of course. That’s why the Chucky movies were so popular.”
“Chucky wasn’t cute, unless you mean in that homicidal sort of way.”
“Biggest fear?”
“Um… dying friendless and alone in a freezing alley in some city I've never been to before after being brutally tortured, mugged, and raped? Either that or the things that come out of the dark when I'm not paying attention.”
“So anyway, Mulan would definitely kick Pocahontas’s ass.”
“c.r.a.p. = curious raving angry person.”
“b.i.t.c.h.= being in touch can help”
“w.h.o.r.e.= wandering hostile over regurgitating enemas”
“F.U.C.K. = fine umbrella carousels kill”
“s.p.e.c.i.a.l.= super punching entertaining clown initiating anarchy league”
“It makes sense that Life’s a bitch, because if it were a slut, it would be easy.”
“Hi, what’s up?”
“DEATH TO THE INFIDEL!”
“What the hell?”
“You heard!”
“Hey, guess what happened today?”
“Um… I kicked you in the head again?”
“Your sugary goodness will succumb to me, bitch!”
“Aaaaaaand… now I’m blind. The sun and that window across the street were sexing right in view of my poor eyes. I mean, all over each other, man!”
“maybe I release drugs in my breath and makes it seem like everything is funny
“you shall laugh!” *breathes on you*
[laughs]you crazy”
“yeah me crazy am I what thinks you”
“Okay Yoda, whatever you say”
“Traitor! Burn her at the stake mob of evil minions!”
“I never judge people. It’s part of the code. The Code.”
“The Ceri Code. A mystery of beauty and knowledge.”
“And pudding! Don’t forget the pudding!”
“It’s weird how you never see Asian emos.”
“Gah, my bed doesn’t even move this much.”
“…Yes it does.”
“I don’t think I could handle stitching up someone’s face.”
[To Gabe and Sumner] “You guys are such a cute couple.”
“Oh, i had the weirdest dream. Okay, well, for one thing I was black, and I was in a photoshoot making out with Justin Timberlake.”
[laughs] “Sound like a party.”
“Yeah, and the photographer was like ‘get closer together, yeah grope each other more, yeah just like that.’”
“Dear lord, if another kids bop album comes out I will shoot someone in the face.”
“Sung by kids aka we couldn't get the rights to the actual songs.”
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