An unreviewed life is not worth living.

Okay, so I'm tweaking the actual proverb a bit, but I doubt anyone would know that. I decided to do at the very least one person a favour and write unofficial reviews for two things, one main-stream media and the other media probably no one's ever heard of: "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" and "Ethan Frome".

Anyone who's been to a movie with me will tell you that I have this weird disorder that hinders me from making comments (usually at the expense of the actors, crew, directors, and anyone involved with the project) through the whole thing. And a lot have probably heard my various rants of my poor opinion of the Harry Potter movies. (No shit the books are better.) But for once I had very little bad to say about this one.

...Except that Harry's the most emo protagonist since Peter Parker and that Sirius didn't get killing-cursed before falling through the Curtain of No Return. Which wasn't even a curtain, by the way. I also got the feeling that they left a huge chunk out of the middle. I don't really remember what happened in that huge middle chunk, but I'm sure it was more interesting than the middle of the movie.

And now, for those friends and acquaintances of mine who are taking AP English their upcoming senior year, "Ethan Frome" is probably one of the more long-winded, redundant, and dull books I've ever had to read. The first chapter is the worse, so you might as well just skip it.

Aside from that, it's not that bad. It just goes on forever. Edith Wharton should have done herself and the entire English-speaking world a favour and made it a short story. With my powers of approximation, I decided that the book could be perfectly condensed to one-tenth its size. Yes, for every TEN pages in the 180-page book, only ONE of text actually tells the story. I'm not one for Sparknotes, but I wouldn't blame you for this one.

Conclusively, I should say that I would recommend the fifth Harry Potter movie and pity the souls of those who have to read Ethan Frome. Sad way to waste two and a half hours.

Chances are I'm doing another one of these reviews, or adding to this one, tomorrow or Sunday, as I will have finished the final Rowling installment by then. Damn you, Ian, for reading it online before I could.