16 September 2009

Things That Reek of What The Fuckery #4



Alright, so this is mostly for the muso— which I am told is the proper term for a music-o-phile— in me. I generally succeed at my attempts to be an open-minded, all-types-welcoming person, and I admit sometimes I fall several football fields short of that goal when it comes to music, but Jesus tap dancing Christ! If you can get through that whole video, either your ears, eyes, and brain all have hemorrhaged or you have no common sense and taste in sounds.

Because in actuality, that scarcely qualifies as music. There is a reason gangsta rappers and hardcore bands stay very far away from each other. When the first thing heard on your song is a synth playing a strangely Indian-inspired riff, the second thing should NOT under any circumstances be a screamer/growler/whatever the fuck noise you're ripping your vocal cords apart to make, and it should go without saying the third thing should not be a white boy rapping about being an a club "looking at a sexy now."

What the fuck does that even mean, you whiny twerps? Who are all those women, your ex-girlfriends who realised that you're borderline mentally retarded and dumped your genre-confused asses? The only thing that made sense about this video was the guy in the pig suit, and that says something.

All that's a lot of me being offensively-defensive of two things I love: music and intelligence. It can easily be summed up in seven words:

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, STOP.

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